Looking Out

The window of bedroom, 2nd story, in an ivy-covered brick church that has long since functioned in a less holy sector.

How many men have stood and contemplated their lives out this window?  Their joyous successes, their pitiful failures and the hard times that invariably come between the fast paced happy moments.  How many men have changed their minds inside those cold brick walls, or had them changed against their desires and wishes?

Cast Away

Why do I feel so compelled to follow every experiment I attempt to undertake, even if only for the sake of learning what I can learn from it, through to the very brutal and oftentimes needlessly long and drawn out finish?  I'd be well served to stop the internal bickering and delaying of the decisions shortly after they ever begin.

How do I learn to be less wasteful of my time and easier to please when deciding to call it quits?

Let the fungus grow.  It doesn't hurt.

In other news, I like cameras.

Ride Review - Labor Day Weekend 1

This is my new bike.  It's not new in the sense that it's never been owned by anyone before, or that I bought it from a shop.

I built it.

I started with a bare frame with no parts on it whatsoever.  You really can't break a bike any further down than this, without having a welding shop and pile of steel as a result.  I had a local bike shop (LBS) pull a stubborn bearing cup out of the bottom bracket when I was first starting with the build, but beyond that point it has been all me.  My skills and knowledge, coupled with my beer and tools and time.

I could (and normally would) go ahead and list all the parts it is comprised of, but that doesn't change my opinion of it.  Or, of the process it was to get it there.

For somebody that has never had the chance or desire to break a bike down into the tiniest little bits and reassemble it, and then go sprinting across the streets of their home town on it.  It's a unique experience, in a time and life of merely needing to be present to do things correctly.


So, here's an internet CHEERS! for Italian steel frames, fixed gear conversions, stiff-soled bicycling shoes, cell phones that will take photographs, being healthy enough to ride a bicycle, and doing something all by yourself with the result being something you stake your life upon.

Beyond these tips

The world is infinite and undefined; completely explorable and answers are strewn across this web of connectors. I would rather be living life else where.
After being disconnected from the internets for so long, I am back on to explore it's "wonders" and it is dull. My eyes hurt, my body feels sluggish.
I've been riding an amazing bicycle around for the past couple of days, getting sunburned and drawn into that addiction. I need to hit a meeting. Getting in too fast, hard, but it's so hard to stop.
With all of these infinite wonders we are attached to, is it any wonder why we are gaining in girth?
Get off this piece of junk that wont last another 5 years and go spend your time on things that will being a better quality of living to your life. Riding a bicycle. Talking to your neighbor. Reading the books you've collected but haven't had the chance to read. Indulging in new hobbies. Enjoying life again and not complaining that you're "Bored".
Quit being boring and go have an adventure.

Bit’o’Everything Scones

Parchment Paper
3 Cups Whole Wheat Flour
4 tsp. Baking Soda
3 Tbsp. to ½ Cup Brown Sugar (depending on desired sweetness)
¼ tsp salt
1 orange (zested and juiced, separated)
(About 2 Tbsp orange zest)
½ Cup dried fruit (Craisins, raisins, cherries, currants, etc)
¼ Cup dark unsweetened-semi-sweet chocolate (optional)
½ Cup low-fat Buttermilk
1 Large Egg
1 tsp. Vanilla Extract
½ tsp Almond Extract
6 TBL Butter- Take out of frigde 15 minutes before use
½ Cup Powdered Sugar

Pre-heat the oven to 350* Lay the parchment paper over cookie sheets (About 2 cookie sheets if possible)

Mix the whole wheat flour, Baking soda, Brown Sugar, and salt in a large bowl until well blended. In a small bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, egg, vanilla and almond extracts.

Cut in the butter until about the size of peas. It is easiest if you use your hands and work the mixture with your fingers, just be sure your hands are dry, otherwise the flour mixture will stick. Add the orange zest and your dried fruits and chocolate. Mix well then add the buttermilk mixture. Your scone dough will begin to form, it should be dry enough to crumble, but firm enough to hold together when you press it. If it is still too dry add orange juice until it reaches said consistency.

Take about half a palms size of the dough and form into a triangular shape using your fingers. You can also use cookie cutters to vary shapes and sizes. You can also roll out a circle about 1 inch thick and cut out the triangles.

Place formed scones onto the parchment paper keeping about ½ inch apart as they expand, but not much. Bake anywhere from 25-35 minutes. They should be fairly firm to the touch and a golden brown. Depending on the size and thickness, the bake time will vary. Be prepared to keep an eye on them!

While they bake, mix the powdered sugar and orange juice to form a glaze. Once the scones come out of the oven, brush the glaze over the scones and allow to cool. Store in a paper bag to keep out the moisture.


***Thanks for reading and Enjoy!! Be sure to check back for another adventure! Cooking, photography, moving, any and all! <3***

Of Shiva Born

This picture won an Award bu the Art Council. I hope you enjoy. =]

The Rest of my Life

Yesterday, I made a creation. Of delicate worlds in cone shaped wonders. I call them A-bit-o-everything Scones, but the name needs some work.
I'd had one scone before with my best friend Anthony, to which I was informed it was not very tasty. This being some time ago. More recently, I received a recipe from one of the places I subscribe for daily recipes from VegeterianTimes.com for a recipe for Soda Bread Scones and was eager to try. I had some leftover buttermilk, some dried fruit and nut mix and some wheat flour. That was all I needed. Well, almost. ;]
I scoured the interwebs trying to find reviews on scones recipes and to find out what they are actually supposed to taste like/look like. I'd had an idea, but nothing concrete. Some good-hearted chefs around the world had an argument on a forum about the best scone recipe and discussed taste, texture, moisture levels, every delicious drop of information about scones that I could possibly need. They also linked or posted to their favorite recipes. Glorious!
Using my super spidey cooking skills (which most of the time dessert me. ;) I launched into three recipes... in one batch. Cut back the butter, sub buttermilk. Don't have enough cherries, almonds and craisins left, sub raisins. This chef likes to add chocolate chips? I have some frozen chocolate in the freezer. =] Need an orange for that one? Good thing we have orange trees.
So on and so forth.
What resulted is a lifelong love for these easy little buggers. I can easily make them and keep them ready for guests, parties, etc for the rest of my life. It goes great with coffee. Tea, too! This is what you're going to find in my cookie jar, what you will be offered when you come by for a visit or show up to do my census because I've forgotten to mail it in.
It's strange to think in such long terms. Life has always been so tangential for me and I've enjoyed it that way. There are so many paths to take in life to be shortsighted about ONE path you HAVE to take because that is your goal.
You limit yourself. You limit your adventures. You limit your experiences and thus, limit your knowledge.
But that is an argument for another time.

Waiting Redux

Waiting sucks.  Waiting has always sucked.  It is the antithesis of a good time, even if you are anticipating one as an end to your queue.  Hatred for waiting is coursing through my veins as I write this, and surely it is coursing through your arteries as you read this, wondering where I will go with this response.

I thought I had placed the ball squarely in your court.  I thought your court had received and acknowledged and was working to get around the fact that others might not want our courts to get up and move around the county and/or world and would alert me once ready to hoist anchor.  There are a million could-haves and should-haves, but they all lead back to two heads not thinking as one, as odd as that seems for us, for me, after months and months of "Ditto!" and "Sounds Good!" and "Jinx!!! DOUBLE JINX!!! TEXAS!!!!"  We both know how to fix this, it's simpler than making delicious 4-step lemon bars when you've got a backyard full of lemon trees.  Let's turn that corner, please?

I can't say I blame you for not wanting to interrupt my typing, my computing time, and I especially understand you not asking me to stop swinging the hatchet.  I understand I can be very off-putting and seem very unforgiving or deep in angry thought.  But darling, I can't stress this enough, I'm simply filling the time.  Never deep in thought, but rather entirely interrupt-able and silently hoping you would, still hoping you will.  You are the one I will always give the benefit of the doubt to, always the one I will do my very darndest to do right by, to strive towards my best for.  "I" statements grow weary now, as did my patience grow this morning, and for that, I apologize.

This (and all the other) paragraphs should include a brilliant simile and possibly a few analogies, but I'm not a writer and have never had much talent for abstraction outside of pointing a camera away from the main subject.  Self-loathing aside, I thought I felt Something has shifted, and possibly still shifting and with my Midwestern upbringing, I automatically believe it's something in or about me.  Self-analysis (never completely) complete, let's turn that damned analytic and Germanic brain upstairs to outside sources of possible shift.  Because it's easier to stomach, easier on my pride, I suppose.  Easier to believe that I can see what is wrong, but I know I'm never seen by my own eye, and never will be seen.

What's different?  What could have happened to us?  What can we do now to crank that damned slow wheel faster than ever, but this time in reverse?  How can we go back to those long walks where much was said and more was felt, and a lot of the time, our eyes talked for us?  Back to the nights spent solely on becoming friends and not ever wasted, worrying about the future or current issues?  Even better, how do we forge ahead in this new year, this new day, to make each other laugh, and forget about the negatives, and ease each other's worries?

How can we end this chapter on this sad and wasted note, and start afresh, with clean, crisp font and blackest ribbon, to type ourselves into a new destiny rather than silencing ourselves on and on, deeper into our current one?  I'm not willing to accept "good enough" because I know we are naturally far better.  Our love is far more resilient and bold at it's core.  I've poured too much of myself into it for it to be so weak and broken by a house such as this, and I have seen, nay, felt your stubbornness too many times to doubt our strength in the face of adversaries such as these before us now.  We will succeed.  We will live another day to smile and break the wretched un-silence with our grins, to crescendo above in booming laughter above the din of the set.  Our warmth will not be drowned out by the closed shades and gloom of the deadly living room, where fish wait to die and photographs wait to be replaced.

I want you to push me to talk.  I want you to speak your mind.  I push you sometimes, you push me sometimes.  Help each other, as needed.  Simple as that.  I want you to get in my face or pull me aside or make me uncomfortable, because that's what I need sometimes to speak my mind, to share what's not easy for me to say.  I don't like these silent wars and I can't enjoy anything on these silent days (not even your treaty you were so kind to offer), and staying away never ever helps break them.  I'm not falling asleep until I know you've read this through, and I'm not going to sleep angry, and I'm physically incapable of letting little issues continue to bother me, because we both have earned much better than that in this "job" of being there for each other that we so readily signed for.

In so many cliched terms, I want to be there for you.  I am there for you.  I want to hear about your fucked up and ridiculous boss' antics, and I want to hear the shit your wretched coworkers that have nothing better to do but cause drama put you through.  I want to hear if you are worried about finances, if you are worried about losing your current job, how you are frustrated by interviews that don't go your way.  I want to hear about how you wish I had a job so we could get away, and I want to hear you say you know I'm better than this wretched funk that I've been in.  I believe in you, and I need to hear you say you believe in me too.  Not every day, and I'm not asking you to start doing it just for me.  I'm asking you to speak your mind, whatever it may be.  To ramble, to go down those tangents with me, to lead me down every damned random road your mind takes you down.  Because that's why I'm here.  With you.  For you.

Waiting today; A silent War.

It's a quiet war between you and I. The silence of fighting within ourselves. No laughing or smiles, no kisses or jests. I'd almost rather be yelling, but almost isn't quite there.
You'd kissed the top of my head as you'd left, not a word spoken, just the quick gesture as you'd walked off. The screen had closed, your bike had sounded.
"Looks like you've sent your love off to war," says the man behind me with a smile.
The heart is not in me to smile back, to give a witty response.
"Just about," I mutter as I turn back around to face computer screens and disconnected students. Headphones plugged in to laptops and notes scattered across their tables, they are tucked into their own little corners of the world, isolated with their paper coffee cups and distant dreams.
I don't know why we're angry. Because you waited, because I did. You'd said you were ready, I was, too. I read while I waited, played cards, sang, whistled, watched you type and finally, after you left to chop wood to vent your anger I sat in the car. Waiting, still, for time to pass. And when 20 minutes had, I waited more. Until I left a note that I would be waiting for you at Lestat's.
When you arrived, I waited more, but leaving wasn't the plan and neither was talking.
I threw my arms around you and kissed your crown, waiting for a response but nothing came. Disconnected, you were, I am now.
A silent war of stewing, leaving issues unsaid and not dealt with. As is our nature, to stew and wonder the things we let bother us, but don't discuss.
I'm ready when my shoes are on, you can drag me out the door. I encourage you. If you start to type, I will wait until you are finished. If you get on the computer, I will find a book to read. I'm waiting. Still waiting.
Now I'm waiting to discuss what we haven't discussed and it will be ignored until I have nearly forgotten. I don't want to push you to talk when I know I can't always. I need time sometimes and so I give you time. Mentally, physically, emotionally- I'll give you all the time you need because I know you do the same. I won't push you on it. I've tried.
And now I'm done with this self-pity.
Thanks for reading.

Piggy Bank

Hello Lovlies,
I hope you can read these, if not, then I will retype them on the Smithy (even though the Royal is so much more fun). Glass keys, the delicious clank as they slip from beneath bumbling fingers... =]
Enjoy!

Edit: Yeah, it's pretty hard to read. Here's what it says:

I opened my piggy bank
Spilling its hearts all over the carpet
The metallic smell curling with the lint
and dust.
I am a rich child of large silver change
With minimal amounts of copper rust
It screamed as its contents hit the earth
My pleasure overwhelming in its despair
It shall be for sweeter things, I promised
Sweeter things for me.

The Royal doesn't scan so well. =[

This was unsuccessful. =[

White Bridge

Photowalk/drive around San Diego (Hillcrest, Banker's Hill, water-front near the cruise ship port) one rainy night this rainy week.

I used my Canon 40D digital SLR for a lightmeter, and shot fast, grainy black and white film.  Quite contrasty, and it seems I prefer the aesthetic afforded by 400 ASA film underexposed and overdeveloped to 3200 ASA, so I don't know if I'll be buying many more rolls of this TMAX 3200, especially since most of my old film cameras don't have film speed scales that will go that high.  More experimentation is in order!

(Click on image to see full-size)

Canon Canonet QL17 GIII

Kodak TMAX P3200 in D76

Bicycle Pacific Beach!

Eve and I headed to Pacific Beach the other day to grab some fresh air.  Ended up being pretty cold, and not the fanciest of days spent at the beach, but it was nice to walk around and check out the typical PB mix of folks.

Tourists wondering why all the younger "home-turf" crowd are complaining about the lack of booze on the beach and how odd that must have been, college kids that will spend too much time studying the effects of that 3rd Long Island to make it back to Mrs. Wainwright's American Journalism 3 course, recently graduated kids exploring life post-school and pre-career, and 2nd gen. hippies intent on proving their parents right and their skin-docs wrong, on "There's no such thing as too much sun, or too much fun."

(Click on it, to see full-size)

Pentax Spotmatic SP1000 (dubbed "Germaine" for the previous owner, scrawled on the prism cover)

Pentax Super Takumar 55mm f/1.8 @ f/5.6

Arista Premium 400 (Relabeled Kodak Tri-X), shot at 100 ASA, dev. in D-76

Nikon Coolscan IV, resized and cleaned up in Photoshop

Have You Any?

Wrenching

Typecasting Intro

(Click on image to see full size)

Signing in for duty!

Hiya!
This is Eve, reporting for the Daily Journal of My Life, oh, and yours of course, too. =] Looks like a good place to start if ever there was one, doesn't it? Yes, yes. Quite fine.

Hopefully, we'll get the ball rolling and begin the scanning and posting process, but for now, I must sign off and get to the nasty 's' word... [[studying]]

Ciao! I look forward to hearing from... anyone!
Best,
Eve

First Post

Anthony here, starting this blog off on a very fine February day. San Diego has been quite warm the past week or so, which has made motorcycling most excellent.

We're (myself and the better half of this blogging team, Eve) using this blog as a way to record our musings and studies, both photographic and literary. We've just purchased typewriters (hers, a 1941-ish Royal Varsity in extra-studious black wrinkle finish, and his, a late-1960s-ish Smith-Corona Sterling in secretarial sandy mud), as well as darkroom equipment to fulfill our mutual desire to have more time in the darkroom working on prints than what our college courses can provide.

What to expect? I'm planning on posting my successes and failures along the way with the learning of new equipment, new processes and eventually, finished work that "makes the grade." She's planning on...well...I'll let her speak on that in her own eloquent way in a future post.